The Hallway of Life

I am fully awake each time I walk down this hallway-but it seems like a dream.  This is a special place. Like a library, it harbors stories , history, and information. The open doors  line the walls. As I walk, I can see a life ticking away inside of each room.

I admit, I come here seeking enlightenment. Seeking hope.  It’s a hallway of Life Journeys and I actually learn as much about myself as the residents that live here and share their stories.

It’s called a convalescent center. We used to call it a nursing home, but  times have changed. I am drawn to the wing where people are waiting to die.

The benevolent lessons they give may seem small, but they are life changing.  For instance, they’ve taught me to give a gentle greeting to each person I meet. To look them in the eyes, really look.  To stop what I’m doing and listen to their words.  And to listen to what they’re not saying.

I’m used to tossing out a hello as I pass people. I’m focused on my day. But when I walk with the residents, I see that  each of their “Hellos” is given with a pause, and leaves a feeling of being accepted and worthy.  There is a grace to their greetings.

The latest thing I learned was when a resident-for no special reason- asked me, “What words do you wish your mother had said to you?”

My hand flew to my mouth. My eyes watered.  I couldn’t answer. It didn’t matter. The old woman smiled and patted my hand.

I’ve pondered the question many times since then.  What seems  to resonate for me are words like: “I’m proud of you.”   Words that showed unconditional acceptance.

I suppose it’s a parent’s desire to push their child to reach full potential, but the undercurrent of those messages says that : You’re not okay like you  are. You need to be smarter, more motivated, keep your room cleaner.  Nag. Nag. “You need to be better.”

I’m guilty of that, too.

Several weeks have passed since that last lesson. I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize that it’s not too late to share those gracious words: “I’m proud of you,” with a spouse, a child, a friend, a relative, or a co-worker. While I can’t change the past, I can affect the  future. I can create an atmosphere of being accepted-just as you are.

I’m learning  that HOPE often comes in the pauses in life.

The doorways of the convalescent center are treasured gateways. Each has a jewel.  Each has made a life journey.    I return because I always find someone willing to pause and share a bit of hope for my walk through life.

Advertisements

About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in Hope, Smiles and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Hallway of Life

  1. Barb says:

    Lisa,
    In the conversation with this gracious, gentle lady (who has been battling cancer), we were reminiscing about words or advice that affected our lives.

    When she said this, I had a gasping reaction and realized that there must be some unfinished business for me in this question. Perhaps it was a quinky-dink comment? (If you believe in coincidences.) Perhaps she saw or sensed something in me that elicited her gentle inquiry.

    There are so many years of living in this hallway that it’s somewhat like being in the presence of oracles (and that includes the man who screams and the woman who is bitter). It is rich in life.

    Like

  2. Barb says:

    Thanks Roxie.
    I’m wearing a big grin. It’s worth a lot.

    Like

  3. Lisa Nowak says:

    I second Roxie’s comment.

    Wow, what a thing to have someone say to you. No wonder it stumped you. I wonder what her motivation was? Simple kindness, or regrets of her own.

    Like

  4. Roxie says:

    Your blog posts are like candles in a vast darkness. I am drawn to the light, never knowing what it will illuminate. So thoughtful, so glowing. And I’m proud of you, for what that’s worth.

    Like

Tell Me All About It.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s