Cutting the Cord on Yap

Stitchs Method to Shut Up

Stitch's Method to Shut Up

It was the wise and profound Roxie who posted the adage:

If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

I’ve been thinking about that for several days now.

It seems contrary to our present culture. With Facebook, Twitter, and—yes even millions of blogs, we can tell the world exactly when our mail has arrived, how long it’s taking for our pizza to be made, or…

and this is my favorite….

all the folks who Twitter “Goodnight” just before they go to bed.

I suppose this feeds our drive to be the center of the universe. All events orbit around our needs, interests, and self-promotion.

Perhaps that’s why Roxie’s adage is so powerful. To listen to another person and make them feel that they’ve truly been heard and appreciated is a treasure. One that is fading away.

So, I’m taking this challenge and hope you’ll join me. Just for one day, sincerely listen to another person without adding any of your own stories, or opinions. (This will be hard for me.)

Maybe we’ll do it to a family member. Maybe the checker at the grocery store.  Perhaps it will be an affirming note at a stranger’s blog.

We’ll report back next week.

Maybe we’ll find that the best way to be appreciated is to cut some cords that bind us to ourselves?


About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
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4 Responses to Cutting the Cord on Yap

  1. girldogtorch says:

    When I was teaching– I couldn’t do it all the time, but the best, most holy gift I could give a student (middle school), was to stop everything else I was doing, and just listen to them. Even if they weren’t saying anything “important,” just giving them all my energy– it’s an amazing thing, how much it can do for relationships and community.


  2. Rose Lefebvre says:

    I listen to others every day at work. I work with people with various disabilities and often they just need someone to “hear” them. Sometimes they are having a difficulty they need to voice, or have gone through an emotional event, or are struggling with schoolwork. I listen to them, give hugs if needed, offer a shoulder, and help with some schoolwork or in finding them someone to assist them. I have often received a phone call or email from the student I listened to and they will say how much it meant to them to have someone listen and hear what they had to say witout judgement or criticism. Often they do not want someone to say “You should do this or that.” They just want to be heard, let it all out, and feel that they were actually listened to.
    I can do that.


  3. digipicsphotography says:

    Good idea!


  4. Roxie says:

    What a challenge! And what a gift to the person you are listening to. You are pretty doggone profound and wise yourself!


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