Welcome To Pioneer Friday
In Two Pan
A quick peek into why the folks of Two Pan Are so stubborn…Uncommon… And sometimes…Up All Night.
Violet Spinrad takes Privy Sanitation Very Seriously.
She didn’t mind the heat, the blood-sucking flies, or Ferd Hopkin’s buck-toothed leers the whole trek of the Oregon Trail.
“What I hated, worse than boils on a toad were the lack of decent privies. Three outhouses in the whole-blamed 2000 miles: Ft. Laramie, Ft. Bridger and Ft. Boise.
“You just try squattin’ behind a tree everyday for 5 months. No wonder we look so grim-faced all the time. We had to traipse to the woods two-women-at-a-time. Nothing scares the juice out of you like a deer or bear sneakin’ up and sniffing your backside when you’re behind a bush. And shaky ol’ Grandma Wince kept falling over, requiring help up. I suppose going to the bathroom in pairs will be a trend for women from now on.
“Heaven help us, our idiot wagonmaster took us through Oklahoma. It doesn’t even have a tree with more than 5 limbs and all the bushes bite, sting, or make you itch. It made us wish for a deer to hide behind.
“As soon as my esteemed spouse, Bricker Spinrad, staked our property here in Oregon, I made him construct a decent outhouse. It’s the pride of the territory. Now, women tromping off the Oregon Trail head straight for our privy. With long lines forming before the horses are even watered.
“The men? No change there. They come and go from behind the shed. No lines for them.
That’ll probably stay the same, even if Oregon gets modern porcelain toilets, like they have back east.Join the unique citizens of Two Pan every Friday to see how to cultivate a disgust for change.
(Check out how Seriously We Take Toilet Sanitation in 2011)