Slake Your Thirst at the Salt Lick

Change roils through Two Pan on Pioneer Friday-1870

Grand Opening of the Salt Lick Saloon

Events promise to become more heated with the Salt Lick Saloon’s move from canvas tents to a new wooden building. Owner, Silky Sue, hired settlers to erect her building in a two day house-raising. Settler wives carped about their husbands’ participation. “Because we haven’t even proved up our own land,” said Mrs. Bricker Spinrad. Miners, castabouts, and men on the street, helping with the move in, were rewarded two free drinks.

“Our whiskey is local made; not like the hooch across the street,” owner Silky Sue told the editor of the Two Pan Tattler. Since her recent arrival from San Francisco, Silky Sue has been at war with Big Opal who has serviced miners and mountain men with her 4 catwagons for the last year. Masons had laid part of the granite on Opal’s Palace, a bodacious 10-room bordello, when Silky Sue bought a parcel across the street and “flung up a saloon,” according to the ample-bosomed Madame, adding, “She’s a floozy in molt, and better stay outta my business.”

The Salt Lick.: Strong Liquor. Honest Poker. Wonderous Women

Last week the two women got in a slapping fight in the middle of the Mud Street when Silky Sue hired away Big Opal’s cook. “She shoulda paid her better,” the saloon owner said. “The Salt Lick is a safe place for any single woman to survive. If a woman’s divorced, widowed, or broke there’s no place she can work except my saloon—unless she wants to uncross her legs in Opal’s wagons.”

Settlers in the area disapprove of both establishments. “Well…maybe their wives do,” Silky Sue said with a smile. “But the pioneer men? I didn’t have any trouble getting them to build me a saloon.” When asked how she had the capital for this business venture, she intimated it would cost a lot of liquor to find out. “I know how to survive.” She winked. “We’ll see if Big Opal does.”

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About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in Humor, Pioneer Friday in Two Pan and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Slake Your Thirst at the Salt Lick

  1. Pingback: Valentine’s Day at Opal’s Sporting Parlor | Before Morning Breaks

  2. Pingback: Before Morning Breaks: Floozys on Main Street | Before Morning Breaks

  3. Beth says:

    I hear them Temperance ladies is marchin’ up from Grandview with some fierce lookin’ axes. They near about kilt Pappy O’Mally when they busted up his still, and they got a real mean look in their eyes. Silky Sue, watch out!

    Like

  4. Orice Klaas says:

    Ya-HOO! Love the ride into Saloon land. It feels so very authentic!

    Like

  5. rose lefebvre says:

    So, are you portraying Silky Sue or Big Opal? Now is Sue called “Silky” because of her lovely locks, her soft as silk skin, her smooth talk or ???
    Is Opal called “Big” because she is a large bosomed lass, she is a large booty lady, or she is just a rather bountiful babe??????

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  6. Since both of the services Roxie provides prevent blindness I think she should also hang up her healers shingle.

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  7. Barb says:

    Big Opal, if Roxe Poley finds you using her name, she’ll slap you so hard you’ll have skid marks on your knees and elbows. However I do believe your refreshments won’t make a body go blind. That’s because it’ll kill a person before their eyes can blink.
    Bring it, gal.
    (Sorry this wasn’t an 1850s emoticon. Emoticon

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  8. moma escriva says:

    Land a mercy, this town ‘il be going to the dogs soon enuf with all them saaloons poppin up on ever corner of the street!

    Like

  9. Spectra says:

    “She’s a floozy in molt, and better stay outta my business.”

    Exactly what, pray tell, is a ‘floozy in molt’? The words conjure up an image of an old, wasted hag, losing chunks of hair and scattering flakes of dandruff in her wake. She won’t get no business with personal hygeine like that there stuff. Nosirreebob.

    On a personal note, I especially like Silky Sues moniker; for a long while I was known around the net and social media as “Silky Sienna”, but have since changed my stripes. Or molted them off. whatever.
    Another uproarious read from you, Barb 😉

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Well if Silky Sienna ever falls on hard times, she can put drop a resume by the Salt Lick. We wear a lot of feathers around here. Kind of like that little picture next to your name.

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  10. Roxie says:

    Silky Sue brews her hooch with two plugs of tobacco and a pint of turpentine to give it some kick. My moonshine’s imported from Grandview where the O’Malleys set up their genuine authentic still with a certified copper kettle and coil, and it’s guaranteed not to make you go blind.

    My girls are experienced professionals who know how to make a man happy, and my sheets are washed every week. I have a well established business with a solid reputation.Silky Sue’s nothing but a fly-by-night floozy.

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