The Best Snow Man in the World

I don’t usually enter contests, but it’s all about change…and it’s a new year…so…I’ve entered the Great American Snowman Contest.

We’re supposed to use materials in our area. (Rules..schmools…I really didn’t read them closely.)

I’m too much of a slacker to drive to the mountains, so I used what every western Oregonian has in abundance:  RAIN & RECYCLE.

If you have a graduate degree you’ll understand why Rain is a perfectly logical snowman material.

(Thanks to cryptixy2k-gull; All Best Wallpaper-drink; NOAA-weather, and U.S Govm’t-toilet photos)

I present….. (tra-la-la)

RAINY, the Pre-SNOWMAN

I must add, I was readying Mr. Rainy for his photo op when we had a rather embarrassing moment. Mr. Rainy said it was because he needed to do some core work, but I think it was really due to his rather slippery nature.

Anyway…part of his torso jumped and rolled under the deck.  Mr. Rainy LOOOOOVES to turn dirt into mud….what a kidder. He even suggested he’d help me clean up with a candlelight bath since he’s not afraid of a little heat, like those “normal ” snow men.  In an attempt to dampen Mr. Rainy’s attitude, I didn’t fully load his innards for this photo.

I tried to get the feral lop-earred cat—who thinks his name is: “Don’t-feed-that-fur-ball,”  because that’s what Dallas Cowboy Fan is always shouting when he sees him.

Well….I tried to get the drenched cat into the photo to garner the sympathy vote, but the cat wanted nothing to do with Mr. Rainy–even though he had food under his recycled balloons.

So I’ll just tell you the benefits of this wonderful creation.

WHY BARB’S PRE-SNOWMAN IS THE BEST ENTRY

  • Portable: Mr. Rainy can go anywhere. Mobile and ready to roll.
  • Adjustable: Fits any space.
  • Refillable: That’s why he’s so popular at party.  His only competition will be Mr. KEG.

This is logically the best snowman in the world.  I expect he’ll eventually wash away all the competition.

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About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in A Laugh, Cats/Dogs, Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

85 Responses to The Best Snow Man in the World

  1. Pingback: Memorial Day Cooking Made Easy | Before Morning Breaks

  2. The Hook says:

    Good luck, Barb!

    Like

  3. Androgoth says:

    Great posting…

    Androgoth

    Like

  4. Priya says:

    Hey! A big hug to you for this idea! I’ve spent years wondering what to do about the snowman-deficiency in my life! Indian monsoon will be just perfect for this.

    Like

  5. I vote for Mr Rainy. And maybe I can create a Mr Rainy cousin (Mr Pittering?) since those normal snowmen don’t happen in Malta either…

    Like

  6. cloudia says:

    LOL!

    How delightful that you found my blog so I could come here.

    You’re always welcome, by the way. . .

    Aloha from Waikiki
    Comfort Spiral

    >

    >

    Like

  7. digipicsphotography says:

    Very creative! I knew you had it in you.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Cloudia…Mr. Rainy would work well in Hawaii. I’d like to see a Mr. Coconut Snowman. (or a Mr. Pina colada Snowman).

      Digipicsphotograhy…obviously it’s not in me any more. I was exorcised by Mr. Rainy.

      Like

  8. Soooo…your name is Barb and you live in Oregon…. Are you my boyfriend’s mom?

    Love the Snowman for Spectra! (And I’m not just saying that because you might be my boyfriend’s mom.) I’m thinking of copying her marshmallow approach if we don’t get a lot of snow soon.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      I too like Spectra’s snow person because it’s edible and anything food is good. If she would add chocolate, I’d abandon Mr. Rainy.

      Is your boyfriend’s mom outstandingly clever, gorgeous, and artsy? That’s not me. Sorry, no…the last boyfriend I had was Dallas Cowboy Fan who hides whenever I pull out the camera for “another one of those ridiculous blog posts.”

      Like

  9. Barb, this is very clever. And I’ve just spent some time wandering your blog…I love the Two Pan stories. Thanks for your comment on my blog, too. I just had to tuck that little bit of hope (“and then it will be spring”) into my post. So far, you’re the only one who commented on that. I suspect others thought it was just to early to think about spring!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Blissed Out G. This blog began about hope because I needed a pile of it. It’s since morphed into change…because that’s what happened. Thanks for visiting and hooting around the blog. I appreciate your sweet words of hope you tuck into your thoughts.

      Like

  10. Brilliant! Though I must say, I don’t blame DFTFB for bypassing the food. Cats have a few too many pointy bits to be comfortable around balloons. And hey, you didn’t need the sympathy vote anyway. Mr. Rainy’s irresistable, and he knows it.

    I shall abstain from the contest, since I’ve actually built snowmen in all months of the year here, including August. By this time, I’m slightly allergic to anything made of snow.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Diane, I looked on your blog, but couldn’t figure out where you are in order to build snowmen year round. Are you with the wiseman at the top of the mountain or exploring the Arctic? Please don’t keep us in suspense.
      You probably have a degree in snow building.

      Like

      • No, nothing as exotic as all that. I’m from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, where bizarre weather patterns can sweep in from the mountains at a moment’s notice. The temperature can literally drop 30 degrees or more in a matter of hours (one winter it dropped from +12 to -30 Celsius overnight), though snow in August is quite unusual even for us. I’ve lived here for 26 years, and I’ve only built one August snowman. That was more than enough. 🙂

        Like

  11. The Bug says:

    I love him! And the best part is that here in Ohio he would get covered in snow and BE and actual snowman – cool!

    Like

  12. Glynis Smy says:

    He would be most appreciated here in Cyprus!

    Like

  13. Julie says:

    Why do I have a sudden craving for mayo? I love that Mr. Rainy is portable and let’s the good times pour wherever he is! Very clever, and you could always use the jars for donations to buy peppermint mochas at more reasonable establishments of course. Mr. Keg doesn’t stand a chance!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Hush.Hush.Hush. You are the only one who has figured out my addiction to big-jarred food. Jiminey Cricket!!! Can’t a woman have a secret vise anymore?

      I hope you feel guilty, Julie. You can send your atonement donation to Mr. Rainy’s bottom. He likes light-weight cash…not those heavy coins.

      Like

  14. Sandy Sue says:

    Hi, Barb. I just wanted to drop by and thank you for visiting my site and leaving bread crumbs back to your hoot-fest. I’m having a great time exploring your blog.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Hoot around all you want, but be careful and don’t disturb Ms. Inner Hooligan…she’s busy creating Pink Elephant Child Drinks. I fear Mr. Rainy will suffer some damage is she succeeds.

      Like

  15. Mr. Rainy would have my vote!

    Like

  16. pegoleg says:

    Mr. Rainy sure looks snazzy! He’s welcome to spend time on my patio any time.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Thanks Literary Chick.
      Peg O leg….move the cat pan off the patio and put a leash on the dog, Mr. Rainy would like to visit but has a fear of everything but the weather.

      Like

  17. Carmen says:

    Hilarious!!! I love snowmen and have a collection that I display and leave up all winter!
    You have a very interesting blog and a great sense of humor!

    You have inspired me to do a post about snowmen!

    Let it snow … let it snow … let it snow!!!

    Like

  18. Margie says:

    The Rain Man is ingenious! I had a similar creation in my yard – a Pot Man, made out of clay pots – but he didn’t have nearly the same charisma that your creation does!

    Like

  19. That’s an impressive piece of creativity! Never let the absence of snow prevent the creation of a good snowman.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Writing feemail, we’ve got to give the credit to Spectra, she’s encouraging everyone to make snowmen out of what we have. It’s kind of like cooking when there’s only celery, flour, and whiskey in the cupboard. Sounds like cream of bourbon soup, yes?

      Like

  20. Rose L says:

    Mr. Rainy could become Mr. Wino if you filled his belly with wine! Or fill his tummy with frogs!
    Or put a mini-snowman inside so it looks like he ate him!! LOL Or fill his tummy with jelly beans and he could be a real Jelly Belly snowman! Wonder what he would look like with a set of dentures inside!
    The possibilities are endless.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Frogs in his belly? Have you been sipping on one of Mr. Wino’s arms?
      And now you’re creating a Hannibal Lechter Snowman that eats other snowmen. (Dang. I wish I’d thought of that!!!)
      Just imagine what our combined powers could do on Halloween with numerous jars and lightening, and more hats.
      Actually, Rose , why don’t you enter the contest, too?

      Like

  21. Lisa Nowak says:

    I’m voting for Mr. Keg. 🙂

    Like

    • Barb says:

      If you work on a Mr. Keg entry, Mr. Rainy and I will come over and help you drain him a bit so he’s not so awkward to handle. After all that’s what friends and their snow posse do for each other. ( I wonder what Lindsey Lohan’s snow posse does?)

      Like

  22. You’re so clever! Love him. Mr. Rainy just raised the bar for all recycled snowmen everywhere. Good Luck!!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      @ Marcia. Thanks.
      @ Ansuyo: Chuckles? Chuckles? Well, thanks…I was going for hoots. I’ll try harder.
      @kbean123: Mr. Rainy likes bars: His favorite drinks are frozen margaritas and anything on the rocks.

      Like

  23. ansuyo says:

    Wow, what a post collection! You get an A+ for creativity for sure 🙂 Thanks for the chuckles.

    Like

  24. JustI says:

    I love Mr. Rainy…ingenious! Might I mention though, that I think the arrows are going in the wrong direction on the snow cycle:)

    Like

  25. Red says:

    If you build a to-be Mrs. Rainy, you will need to fill his belly with butterflies, just for authenticity…and a double shot at winning. Speaking of, do the whiskey sours come in doubles, hold the cherry, twist of lemon? Or do I need to ask Silky Sue?
    Red.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Silky Sue is still trying to find the ingredients for the Pink Elephant Child. You demanding customers forget Two Pan is deep within the Eagle Cap Wilderness two dead oxen trips past civilization.

      Like

  26. Very clever, LOL. Hope you win!

    Like

  27. souldipper says:

    Barb, did you have children? If you did, imagine their imaginations with a mom like you! We need to invent a new award…something that recognizes bloggers who keep theaters and craft stores in business.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Ahhhh…yes…
      I remember the day I took my beloved young one outdoors, pointed to the sky, and said…”That one looks like a rabbit to me. What does it look like to you?”
      He gave me a squint-eyed scowl and replied….”A cloud, Mom.”

      Like

  28. Michael Ann says:

    Love him! Very creative. Hope you win!

    Like

  29. Mr Rainy and his cousins Torrential Downpour, Useless Drizzle and Good Soaking Rain are welcome over here. Anytime.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Honestly, E.C., Mr. Rainy hangs out here about 9 months of the year, when would you like for him to visit, because after a while we start flying out of here in search of sunshine?
      (Very clever names for his cousins.)

      Like

      • I really mean that he is welcome anytime. Some years back we were reliant on rain water for EVERYTHING – including flushing the toilet. It didn’t rain. For a long, long time. So now despite no longer being that dependant on rain, I welcome it. It is never inconvenient. Unless it is the useless rain I call Incontinent Pigeon – three splats and it is over. Even Useless Drizzle is worth more than that.

        Like

  30. Helen Wand says:

    If I were an official judge, I’d vote for yours! Wow! Is he cute or what? Some sweet girl snowman, just might steal him away! Ya’ gotta watch him!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Mr. Rainy was constructed during a male rain…a thunderbanger dumping buckets filled with frogs and moisture….I think only a biker chick snowwoman would find him alluring…and for that…he’s going to have to cycle to Texas or Oklahoma….maybe even Australia.

      Like

      • Spectra says:

        Barb, you’re going to have to bribe all of your readers to VOTE for change, come the big day when the entries are finally gathered together. We have no shame here in bloggersville 😉 Your entry is now on the Snowman Contest page –the very first one!

        Like

  31. Don’t forget to advertise that Mr. Rainy also can be used to store Gummy Bears! A good-looking, cool recycle-Dude that should win !

    Like

  32. Spectra says:

    An ingenius Snow/Rain Man. In fact, your little Rainman is a savant! Does he buy his underwear at K-Mart? Does he carry a notebook listing his Major Injuries? Does he watch Jeapoardy through your kitchen window? I think we need to know more about Mr. Rainy’s past…

    With this brilliant answer to The Great American Snowman Contest, I realize many possible contenders will just give up and not even try. Especially intimidating: he has Hands. With 5 fingers! He could show up and punch out other snowman entries.

    Maybe that wil be how the final winner is determined; is your snow/rainman tough enough to beat down the competition? We shall see…

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Thanks, but the contest is still young, Spectra, and there are soooooo many unused materials just waiting to become snowpeople.

      I think Brick-of-chili snowman is out there just waiting to be submitted. Then there are the balloon party snowpeople, and the Sockball snowfolks.

      Unfortunately Mr. Rainy is a feckless character. His hands float away with the breath of a breeze and he comes apart with the slightest pressure. I fear the stress of the competition will undo him.

      Like

  33. momaescriva says:

    Just the right snowman for our strange weather. Nice going, girl!

    Like

  34. curm says:

    If it wasn’t for Mr. Rainy my car would never get washed. He makes sure not to wash away so much dirt it doesn’t fall apart.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Dan, you funny man, you live in the great state of Colorado. You should enter the contest. And if you don’t have any snow, you could enter with duct tape. I’d think a guy like you would be a Renaissance artist with duct tape. (I use it on my car so I don’t have to worry about the rain washing the bumper off.)

      Like

  35. Alice Lynn says:

    Mr. Rainy has my vote! Clever girl! 🙂

    Like

  36. Roxie Matthews says:

    Bravo! Brilliant and creative use of available materials. An all season, all altitude, all latitude snowman. (Be sure to leave a little airspace at the top of the jar when constructing Rainey in areas where freezing is possible.) Good luck!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Yes, Roxie, you’re one step ahead of the average bear. I didn’t want to oversell Mr. Rainy, but with an after market freezer app…he could become Mr. Frosty. (All apps sold separately: Mr. Steamy app; Mr. Mai Tai app; & Mr. Fish Bowl app.)

      Like

    • Beth says:

      All season, all reason, altitude, latitude and definitely–attitude. Yes?

      Like

  37. Elyse says:

    Barb, I think that you should not only win the contest, but this can become your ticket to fame and fortune.

    How? Well, I’ve marveled at all the incredibly lame toys they have now-a-days for playing in the snow. You’ve seen them: snowball makers, snowball launchers, snowman hats, noses, etc. The list is long. So you can market an entire line of Mr. Rainy gear. Because it does rain just about everywhere.

    I especially loved the fact that the Word Press snow was falling as I read about Mr. Rainy!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      You may have a money-making idea, here. Rain-balls could be made out of balloons. And if there isn’t much rain (like in Georgette’s area), the balls could be made out of dirt. Soon…it may be cool to be a dirtball maker, and I can give up trying to sell “Talking Boots” and “Trekking Poles with Attitude.”

      Like

  38. Really, really cute Barb. I would expect you to come up with something like this and provide a commentary as well! With snow you’d be lethal! Margie

    Like

  39. Arindam says:

    Even, I am expecting Mr. Rainy will wash away all the competition. 🙂 Mr. Rainy is a real handsome man. 🙂 But who is that Mr. KEG?
    Wish you a wonderful year a head. Wish you a very Happy New year to you. 🙂

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Arindam…you’ve missed out on a southern party pastime (although it’s spread to many other parts of the country)…especially a football party …the beverage of choice comes in an aluminum keg. Unfortunately, most college sophomores can tell me the keg holds 15 1/2 gallons of their favorite beer. Mr. Rainy fears that after a “Kegger Party”, he would be in pieces, so he tries to go to milder soirees.

      Like

      • Arindam says:

        Wow! I certainly missed the fun than. Let’s hope like maximum of my friends, one day i can be in that part of the world. 🙂 By the way Mr. Rainy is looking like a strong man. So it’s not going to be that much easy to break him in to pieces. 🙂

        Like

  40. Brilliant! Just think of all the poor youngsters who live in snow-deprived areas, the children who’ve never even seen snow, let alone made a snowman, who can now, thanks to you, proudly build their very own rainman in their front yard. And for survivalists, instead of filling those jars with water, why not use … stout liquor … (HA! interesting stuff) I mean, after all, ya never know when a snake might bite.

    Like

  41. Goodness. He even has an umbrella! And you actually have wet ground! You have thought of everything. If you fill up those jars with rain, we could use it down here. 2011 closed out very behind in rainfall. What I really need to do is make one too. His hands would say “Please rain.” Perhaps it will go viral in our neighborhood and perhaps the rain gods would laugh till they cry showering us with that stuff called water.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Georgette, as I remember…you’re in Texas, right? I tried to get some Oklahoma pecans this year and discovered that it was too dry. No crop. I’d sure send you some rain if I could.
      Living through drought makes deep ruts in a life. Even with all this rain, I still can’t leave the faucet running when I do dishes,or take a long shower….the practice of saving water is too deeply ingrained in me. I’ll ask for some rain to be sent your way.

      Like

  42. I love it! I wonder if I should bother entering now, yours is brilliant!

    Like

    • Spectra says:

      -remember, Darla, there are 3 levels of winning. Probably an honorable mention, as well. What this dominating entry demonstrates is that creative/inventive thinking may take the prize!

      Like

    • Barb says:

      Three levels of winning???? Yowzer!!!! I should read the rules. Thanks for your kind words Spectra. This entry was intended for the Slacker category.

      Darla!!! Of course you should enter!! You’re Julia Child and Paula Deen’s bestest student. With your talent you could make Kool-aid popsicles out of Mr. Rainy and still have leftovers for an elegant Maineiac margarita. I’m looking forward to seeing what you and others cook up.

      Like

      • Spectra says:

        Well, I hadn’t named the ‘Levels’ yet, (just 1st, 2nd, 3rd) but now you’ve given me an idea. As winter wears on, I will be revealing what prizes entrants are competing for…

        Like

  43. JSD says:

    Well, I think you’ve got the best. Not only did you think ‘outside the box’, but you are the Queen of recycle…he will stay with you all winter (no matter what the weather is) and he can easily be stored until next winter. 🙂

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Thank you, but I’m hoping that Mr. Rainy is full of grape juice and blackberry juice by next winter. Mr. @#&!! Deer and his gangster cousins wiped me out this year. But I’ve got secret plans for them. Bwahaahaa!!

      Like

  44. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Looks like a fun competition, I would award you 1st prize if it were up to me, I think your snowman is ingenious, and the red bow-tie is just priceless. Love it. 🙂

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Yes, I keep a big red bow tie around in case my beloved would like to stick it on a new Mercedes Benz SL and gift it to me. So far…Mr. Rainy is the only wearer of the bow.

      Like

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