Put Down the Hamburger and Back Away

This blog is about change. I hate getting used to new habits.

Precious. Precious!

It’s time to shave the fudge, Almond Roca, and excess holiday alcohol off the hips, by paying attention to the special mechanism built into our hallowed torsos.  It’s called the : Put-down-the-fork-and-stop-stuffing-it-in-your-mouth filter.

My filter is broken.  Like Pavlov’s dog, my eyes saucer-size up and I drool at the sight of chocolate, feet spinning on the floor like a puppy on ice.  Get outta my way or I’ll bite you. This comes from screwing up my CCK.

Stop sending lard down here. You gut is full, stupid.

It works like this:

When the small intestines detect fat or protein, they release cholecystokinin (CCK), a hormone telling your brain you’ve had enough.

Researchers in a recent study gave a group of rats a high-fat diet for 20 days (we’ll call them The Fatslappers, although I’m sure the scientist simply referred to them as Group A. They’re nerdy that way).

Another group of rats (The Skinny Minnies) had a low fat diet.

After 20 days, the researchers put out ONLY tasty fatty rat

I love All-You-Can-Eat

snacks.  The Fatslappers ate 40% more than the Skinny Minnies.

In the second part of the experiment, all rats were injected with CCK at noon and exposed to a Martha Stewart buffet of fat snacks.

Because the CCK made them feel full, the rats on the low-fat diet ate much less than usual.

However the FatSlappers didn’t even notice that “slow-down” hormone.  They kept gorging.

“I’m not a rat,” you snobbily declare with your finger in the air. (Me, too. Gimme some chocolate.)

Well, a similar 2003 study was published in the American Journal of Physiology .   For two weeks, men were fed human diets to create a Fatslapper group and  a Skinny Minnie Group.  When they all  received the infusion of CCK (right to the intestines. UGH!), the Fat Slappers—instead of feeling full—actually felt hungrier.  Thus indicating humans can break our “Shut-Your-Mouth-You’re-Full” filter.

The good news….it’s fixable.

The bad news… Just stop sticking lots of fats in your mouth. Your body should readjust so it knows when to say “WHEN.”

Change. I hate it already.

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About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in A Laugh, Change, Choices, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to Put Down the Hamburger and Back Away

  1. I’m married to a Skinny Minnie. Life is hard.

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  2. mj monaghan says:

    I know the feeling, Barb. I couldn’t say no to the pumpkin pie a la whip cream from mid Nov through early Jan. Woops and 11 lbs later – seriously!! I felt like Bridget Jones.

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  3. Helen Wand says:

    Gimme some a thet CCK!

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  4. This discussion is making me very very hungry. Signing off to forage for chocolate…

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  5. Sandi Ormsby says:

    And what’s the other thing we’re told “drink water” lots of water…when you’re sick or trying to lose weight “drink some more.” I feel water logged…”drink some more”

    I remember a nurse telling us that when we couldn’t get over a long lasting cold. 🙂

    Also, our body has a knack for intrepreting “thirsty signals” as “Hunger signals” When we feel hungry, drink water first…not coffee? really? How ’bout a soda? Moutain Dew, I’ll make it a diet…oh, the diet beverages are worse? really? Dang it! What’s a poor gal to do?

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, CA

    Like

    • Barb says:

      I haven’t checked what the rat’s drank. Now, whenever I’m hungry I’ll drink first. Beer is mostly water and those herbal balls of hops isn’t it?

      Like

  6. El Guapo says:

    But…but it’s hamburger…
    mmmm

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  7. Red says:

    This needs an ADORE button. I have CCK problems as well. I am never hungry. No, it is not a Godsend. I know the four basic food groups (beans, bacon, whiskey, chocolate), but I cannot bring myself to eat even everyday. And no, I am not a skinny minnie. (Working on that for swim suit season.) Problem: To lose weight, I have to eat something. *sigh*

    I hate change. Pass the chocolate.
    Red.

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    • Barb says:

      thanks Red, I couldn’t find the Adore button, will this do? Smiley

      Good luck with the swimsuit (Hint: substitute jellybellies for the beans)

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      • Spectra says:

        Ahh…lookat ‘er go with those animated emoticons 😀 I wonder why we can’t post those in others comments???

        TO answer yer question, yeah, I’ve been remiss of late. ::shrug:: don’t know exactly why… can’t seem to produce. And I’m totally with you on the chocolate thing. although I did cut back enormously before and through christmas, when I did a ten day (half) juice fast. It was amazing how, after a few days, I lost most, like 98%, of my sugar cravings !!! Now, by reading this post, I have a better idea why. The juices have plenty of calories, and nutrition, but you don’t have those fats. Anyway, I lost 4 lbs.

        My brother told me about this film (which I watched and inspired me to start juicing again) available on netflix, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. Here’s the trailor:

        and you can watch it here for $1.99 :
        http://www.youtube.com/movie?v=aTMOGLbXWIk&ob=av1n&feature=mv_sr

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        • Barb says:

          Say, I’ve been over to your post, hanging around your door, waiting for you to come out and play. Now, I find out you’ve been having juice parties inside, then going outside and shooting paintballs at your shed.
          I guess we’re all trying to squegee off the calories we glued on over the holidays. I’m so tired of salads. Glad you’re back.

          Like

  8. fakelikeme says:

    Love your writing style. It reminds me of a much better version of me. 🙂 Keep up the good work!

    Like

  9. pegoleg says:

    Last week Dr. Oz had 2 experts on to debate whether or not people can be addicted to food. A (very skinny) nutritionist said no, because not everybody has that reaction, and it is possible to say no to potato chips. Hello? Not everybody is an alcoholic, either. I can drink 1/2 a gallon of wine at a sitting and not have any more for a month. And an alcoholic can choose to say no to wine. It’s not an excuse – it’s just an explanation for why this is harder for some than others.

    I love your pictures!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Thanks, I’m trying to make bad Photoshop my signature trademark.

      Like

      • pegoleg says:

        Hey Barb, you’re skating dangerously close to my trademark – bad Paint Program. May have to have my attorneys, Dewy, Cheatem & Howe, give you a call.

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        • Barb says:

          What a compliment, but no one could replicate your exquisite artistry. I once took an art class (in Kindergarten) and the only thing I did with the paint is get my revenge on the booger-smearing kid who sat next to me. Pink goobers looked a lot better on the side of his desk than the real thing. You are a great inspiration, and while I can dream of one day achieving your skills, I’ll have to accept my reality of Photoshopped brain surgery and yoga-leaning turkey vultures.Smiley

          Like

  10. Thank goodness I ate that slice of Nutella pie before I read this.

    Husband just read aloud article that lack of exercise and being overweight are factors in Alzheimers rather than genes. DANG!

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  11. Great post. I’m not very scientifically inclined, and don’t know much about CCK. I do know that I eat too much, indulge in large quantities of fat, and never get full. Is there hope for me?

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  12. Arindam says:

    It was fun. Do not worry about weight, enjoy the chocolate. We have one life to live and one life to do what ever things we enjoy doing. 🙂

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  13. Sigh. A fatslapper. What a description. True though. With my lying nose in the air I tend to say things like ‘I will just exercise more’, knowing that I would need to run a marathon each day to shift this excess. Sigh again.

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  14. winsomebella says:

    Lard. It’s what’s for breakfast.

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  15. For me it’s the buffet. Any buffet. Chinese buffets are the deadliest. I’m helpless in the face of so much food. I need a therapy group for buffetheads. Them grubenschnitzels will wipe you out!

    Like

  16. souldipper says:

    Oh no! I’m feeling horrible enough after having to reject a good pair of trousers just yesterday! Those Christmas nuts and bolts that I seasoned to perfection were just too good to resist. Honest, I meant to wrap them up decoratively for friends!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Just say NO to food and you’ll be in those coveted pair of trousers in short time. And let your friends you saved them from a lot of pesky dieting. You’re a true friend.

      Like

  17. dan says:

    I think if you stay on a rat free diet you’ll be fine.

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  18. It will come, I promise! My coworkers think I’m magic because I total resist the sugar they are scarfing down. More than one entire bag of sweets, potato chips, cookies… I feel ill just watching them. I’m on week 3 of low-carb – which means I can eat fat, if I want it! The chocolate has to be at least 70% cocoa though.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Congratulations. i did the South Beach diet and would’ve chewed banana peels the first week, if they’d provided some sugar. Good luck, you’re doing well. I didn’t know that about the chocolate.

      Like

  19. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Well even though I am a chocoholic I can honestly say that I only eat chocolate on days ending in Y. So you see I am already very strict on what I eat, especially chocolate. 😀

    Like

  20. moma escriva says:

    I do believe I meant hungry, not hubgry. That word sounds kinda risque.

    Like

  21. moma escriva says:

    I’m hubgry and I didn’t even know it!

    Like

  22. Your last line is me. I need help!

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    • Barb says:

      You hate change, too? You’re at the right place. We’ll support each other as we eat our way through Costco samples searching for the perfect burger, and I’m glad to help you do it.

      Like

  23. Alice Lynn says:

    What an incredibly helpful (and inspiring) post. Now that I understand the mechanics of the feed your face first and regret at leisure syndrome, I’m sure I’ll soon drop those unsightly pounds that keep me away from cameras and mirrors. If you believe this, there’s a reasonably priced bridge in Brooklyn… 🙂

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Sorry, I already own a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge and the Eiffel Tower, and had the mirrors removed from the house. Now I can eat burgers until I feel like a fatslapper

      Like

  24. Barb, this is excellent. You did make a grievous error though, you forgot to mention that when we eat all that chocolate we should make sure we wash it down with a large Coca Cola or some other high-acid soda pop that helps dissolve flush that cocoa and palm fat right into the veins and arteries for immediate storage.
    That speeds up up the fatslapping process of putting on more weight too, something we all desperately need in the sad event we cannot find enough of those chocolate chip cookies.
    Another solution for this serious problem is a strict regimen of Twinkies and butter-tarts. “:).

    Like

  25. Roxie Matthews says:

    I believe there is a substance in chocolate chip cookie dough that supersedes all higher intellectual functions and hard-wires a hand/mouth reaction. It has nothing to do with control or self-discipline. It’s just like when the doctor hits your knee with that rubber hammer and your foot jerks. Chocolate chip cookie = eat.

    On the other hand – hepatitis makes any sort of fat nauseating. I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks and couldn’t face anything richer than kidney beans for a month. I got over that, though. It’s back to foie gras and bacon for me!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      So far the Flu diet and the Hepatitis Diet are recommended as sure-fire weight loss plans. If we can get Oprah as our spokes program we’ll beat that Jared over at Subway back into his big jeans. Thanks Roxie.

      Like

  26. You crack me up! Back away woman!! Margie

    Like

  27. Nice to know I have an excuse. And someone to blame. Ya see, I TELL my husband “not to buy me candy”, which of course, I don’t really MEAN. He persists in buying it for me anyway, so I of course, have to stuff my face with it. A vicious cycle, I tell you, a vicious cycle.(Great post.)

    Like

  28. I love reading about the science of why we are human: sometimes I get into this phase where I couldn’t care less about food (last year I had a gastric flu for ten days, lost a lot of weight and kept it off for eight months) but sooner or later the fat slapper mechanism kicks in (usually in the build up to Christmas) and the annual fattitude begins. And now I’m off to trawl the internet for tasty forms of CCK 🙂

    http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com

    Like

  29. Elyse says:

    But changing from saying “Why Not” to “when” may make me “whacky”

    Like

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