Spring doesn’t change for me. I begin cleaning like a cavewoman tossing out the bones of winter. This spruced-up frenzy begins with Ash Wednesday and ends with Easter.
My family doesn’t notice when I’ve cleaned (nor do they noticed when I cut my hair, weeded flower beds, or been published. I believe this is typical of most relatives who only say something when it impacts their lives.
So I make sure Spring Cleaning throws the household into a tizzy. The ladder, vacuum, and tub of supplies remain in full display as I inch from room to room. (Tip #1: It’s important to get full credit for doing mind-fracturing boring tasks—leave evidence the family will trip over.)
What’s-for-dinner questions are answered by huffing the big hair out of my face and adding a depression-era stare. “I was so busy, I forgot to cook. I have a can of beanie-weenies I can open.” The goal here is to not fix meals during these 6 weeks. If you’ve bought enough banana guacamole and beanie-weenies this is possible. (Tip #2: You must be consistent for the retraining to work!!! Always offer, sorry cuisine during Spring-Clean up and children will eat with friends, and your significant other will learn to stop by the deli and bring food home.)
Remind complainers that cleaning is mandated by the Solar System.
- On earth, nature does an annual scour by pouring floods, hail, and wind to shake loose and blow away what it can.
- On a larger level, God made black holes to suck up parts of the Universe.
- You must respond to the ancient call of planetary sanitation. It’s in your chromosome (Pick X or Y, your choice. Make it work for you.)
Sound cooperative, yet soldiering on. After 20 days, ask for items which would make this onerous task easier. I’m shooting for an ipad or a Samsung tablet this year. (Tip #3: Don’t get a new Super Swiffer or some labor-saving device. Are you crazy? You need a bigger carrot to get through 6 weeks of scrubbing. Think Hawaii.)
If you finish ahead of schedule, you’ll have time to visit the Museum of Clean in Pocatello Idaho. Check out the rocking chair-powered vacuum cleaner, which didn’t capture dirt, but did a fine job of redistributing it.
It will remind you…if we if we have to answer the call to clean…sometimes change is good.