Dealing With Difficult People: Part 2–The Kit

While “Change” is an unsettling kick in the keister…we all agree…some people need to change.  After making the controversial…“Dealing with Difficult People” post, my staff sifted through the genius of the comments. We tested each one and as a service to humanity, my staff, Mr. Yoga Turkey Vulture and Mr. Hip Pastry Flour, have put together the….

Dealing With Difficult People Kit

Remember, Carl?  The idjit who always needed to be the brightest bulb in the room and kept meetings delayed with his piehole of prattle?  It seems many of you have Carl  clones. Of course, the most honest and up-front technique is a calm face-to-face talk with your “Carl.”  But if that doesn’t work, you’ll thrill at the immediate use of these specially crafted  tools.

No Bull. Start Practicing your Stare.

First, pull  the In-Your-Face Mirror out of the kit.

One of the effective techniques we tested was when someone has made their 9th stupid statement then you give them your best stare.   Simply stop the meeting and give them THE LOOK.     

(Put your mouse pointer over the pictures if you’d like to read innermost thoughts)

Did you really just say that?

Then “Carl” will respond with “What???”

Just keep staring.

Dude! That's so un-hip.

Carl will say:  What is your problem? What’s the matter with you?

Just Keep Staring….

I can stare a long time, Carl

Make it a team effort, involving everyone at the meeting.

This method usually helps Carl get the message he’s being a moron.  Of course, you can’t use it often, because the Carls of the world enjoy being the center of attention and having people stare a them, so pull the Change-Of-Venue sign out of your kit.

This ultimate passive-agressive device allows you to change the meeting time and place….sending Carl to merrily disrupt someone else’s life.

Disguises not included in Kit.

PROBLEM SOLVED!!

AND…the kit includes a BONUS item:  Footwear formerly used by HighSchool Soccer players.  Perfect for “putting a sock in it” when Carl just won’t shut up.

How do you get your higgley little paws on this wonderful kit?  The Before Morning Breaks Souvenir Shop will open on Memorial Day.  Be here to check out the How-Did-I-Live-Without-This bargains.

In the meantime, start gathering your gold.  The staff only accepts ingots.

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About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in Change, Humor, Life, Satire, Smiles and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Dealing With Difficult People: Part 2–The Kit

  1. pegoleg says:

    Thanks – this kit is sure to come in handy! But I’m concerned that the “Did you really just say that?” stare might be confused with the “I’m addicted to a controlled substance” stare.

    Like

  2. Arindam says:

    I love these pictures. 🙂 I am sure this kit is going to be on high demand.

    Like

  3. I hope you applied for a patent. These things will take the universe by storm!

    Like

  4. Silva Gang says:

    Goodness, I think I will need a ton of these kits! Do you offer layaway and delivery services? 😉

    Like

  5. Helen says:

    If all else fails, I’m having my gold fillings removed, because I need that kit!

    Like

  6. Dang it to thunder if we all don’t have to deal with the Carl’s in our lives. Ya get the urge to hall off and smack ’em but that wouln’t be cool or lady~like. Yep, a stare is our arsinal and believe me when I say…I can stare ’em down with the best of ’em.

    Heeehehehehe!!!! Your a riot girl, I just read your birth control post below…..Heehehehehe!!!

    Have a blessed and beauitful day sweetie!!! No Carl’s allowed!!! :o)

    Like

  7. Nisha says:

    I have a problem with that ‘stare’ solution. I happen to have a Carl in my family and have naturally given him the stare a few times but he thinks we are listening to him with rapturous attention.
    I suggest rolling your eyes when he’s looking at you-this always annoys people. And how about this? Why don’t we pretend to fall asleep? And you don’t have to be convincing. In fact the more ridiculous and loud the fake snores are, the better! They will definitely get the picture then! 😀

    Like

  8. When we took folks on historic tours, we managed to rid ourselves of the Carls by “forgetting” to include them in the next mailing. When they called, we were always “full.”
    Good luck with the Carls. We all need it.

    Like

  9. digipicsphotography says:

    I think I would be blunt too. I think that’s why I work nights. Just too blunt for day shift folks. But I certainly know how to give that “You’re dumber than dirt!” look. 😀

    Like

  10. Red says:

    Already have a small treasure box full of gold nuggets. Have to find someone to melt them into ingots for me. It is a great side benefit of living just a handful of miles from the gold mine. My kiddles adore digging and have no idea I filch their nuggets.
    Red.

    Like

  11. Those pictures are priceless. I know of a few Carls…and most of them are in politics.

    Like

  12. Very sound advice, Barb. I’m saving my ingots as we speak.

    Like

  13. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Was your dealing with difficult people controversial? I have to check it out! I’m sure it put some noses out of joint.

    I loved your kit – most especially though the ‘Did you just say that?’/I think my eyes are crossing look. TERRIFIC 🙂

    Like

  14. Elephant's Child says:

    The frightening thing is that every office and every meeting has a Carl or a Carlotta. And Paddington Bear stares do not dissuade them from opening their mouths, changing feet and starting again. And again.
    I think that in the same way as nature abhors a vacuum, Carls and Carlottas will attend every meeting and blight every work place.
    I vote for no meetings ever. And preferably no work places either.
    And yes I can see the problem with that second dream.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      I’m voting for you for president. Can you move to the U.S?

      Like

      • Elephant's Child says:

        I am pretty certain that one vote wouldn’t be enough. And there are also a few minor problems – I was not born in the US, I am at best an agnostic, and I don’t possess the vital management tool (a long story there, but much of the spam I receive either offers to enlarge it, or recommends cheap medication to extend its staying power).

        Like

        • Barb says:

          Well, of course, all of us XX chromies live in the shadow of the great P. What was I thinking, you clever woman? I’d still vote for you.

          Like

    • Roxie Matthews says:

      It may be problematical, but I will happily endorse it! A benign dictator is what we need.

      Like

  15. Margie says:

    I actually DO remember that Carl story! Plenty of those out there. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with them as I am out of the workplace, meeting place, etc. Soldier on!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      I hate to tell you, Margie, but there are Carls everywhere. I took a class the other day and some bozo had her hand up most of the time wanting to share her vast vat of knowledge.

      Like

  16. Alice Lynn says:

    By the way, that shouldn’t be a question. Pardon me while I go shoot my editor.

    Like

  17. Alice Lynn says:

    Barb, I think you could expound on this topic for one of those OPB pledge drive specials? Love your photos and the revealing thoughts behind the images.

    Like

  18. El Guapo says:

    How about an “anti-Carl” flash mob?
    At a pre-arranged time, have everyone keep passing Carl’s cubicle, sniffing, frowning, then moving along.
    Hey, if you can’t bet em, confuse em!

    Like

    • Barb says:

      You know, Guapsterola, this is a clever idea. I wonder if it would work? It would freak me out. Of course, I don’t know how I could get the anti-flash mob in a can. This is all about making gold ingots from others problems, don’t cha know?

      Like

  19. curm says:

    My wife doesn’t take me to parties because I am blunt. I would say “Do you ever shut the F up.” There are people blunt doesn’t work on. Maybe if everyone took a potty break at a pre arranged signal, or listen to their I pods when he started talking. My : You are a slug in my salad, look that is similar to yours works well. If all else fails change the date of the meeting and don’t tell him.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      Dan, you charmer, you. Are you telling me your direct approach doesn’t work? Well, at least you get out of some boring parties that way. (Or do you have trouble finding the parties because you’re following a sign that says: Dan. Party has been moved?)

      Like

  20. momaescriva says:

    Can’t wait for Memorial Day to get my kit. Can I reserve one ahead of time?

    Like

  21. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Now that is one handy kit. 😀

    Like

  22. Elyse says:

    Can I put a different name on that “Meeting Moved” sign??? I have a few folks who just shouldn’t be allowed out in public.

    Like

    • Barb says:

      I have a friend who wears those fleece pajama bottoms everywhere. I guess it’s because the pants are comfortable, but I wonder what she’s doing in public, schlopping around the stores in them. If you can spell their name, you can put it on your sign.

      Like

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