PART 2:Gross Alert!!!
The historical information is documented, but names changed here. Some of the birth control practices were gross and questionable. Please click here if you’d like to read something lighter.
This past week freighter, Jonas Hopkins was set upon and robbed as he brought a wagon load of dry goods from LaGrande. He was forced to dump the mail satchel on the ground. “The perpetrators took a brown parcel of Dr. Power’s French Preventatives from the mail bag,” he said, “and two pounds of coffee beans from the buckboard.”
This is the 3rd incident involving the theft of condoms in the territory. Due to the rarity of mail delivery in this hard-to-reach mining valley these hygienic products have become first-class barter goods at Opal’s Sporting Palace.
Mr. Hopkins refused to disclose who the parcel was addressed to. Until these larcenies can be stopped, the tome of Moral Physiology recommends coitus interruptus or women should wash their private inner parts with alcohol or vinegar. While not foolproof, this action may keep births to a manageable level.
Unlike large city newspapers, whose economic mainstay are notices for condoms, and cures for venereal disease, the Tattler does not run those ciphered ads in which “French” is code for contraceptive and “Portuguese” for something that induces abortion.
sale of cleansing syringes. Particularly the latest with changeable nozzles that can be used for both sanitizing and watering houseplants.
Also for hale living, some women wear pessaries or “womb veils” (available by mail) to correct inner problems. Doctors’ records show many ladies keep them [diaphragms] in for thirty to forty years.
Big Opal, proprietor of the Sporting Palace, said stealing all the condoms in the territory “won’t change the price for a good roll in the hay. I tell the girls to use quarters as womb veils. It’s cheaper. Then they give ’em to the church ladies who demand we donate to their charities, but cross the street if they see us in public.”
Grubbs Mercantile would like to announce soap was on the wagon-load of goods and may be purchased immediately.