Beer Basics 101

We have a saying in long distance hiking.

If you forgot it…you don’t need it.

In other words, you make do.

The same is true for tailgate parties and Beer Basics 101.  When 40 people hover around the grill, cooler, and chips and then someone discovers they’ve forgotten the church key ….

You’ll thank ol’ Barb for sharing these innovative beer opening methods.  And you’ll go down in tailgate history and be talked about for years to come.

(*posted by Michelle Alleves in YouTube)

CHANGE…it just keeps coming.  Thank the Lord for “twist tops”

Original Church Key
by moirabot

Soon-To-Be-Antique Church Keys

Anyone remember the cans you had to punch two triangular holes in to get the beer out?

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re gonna feel all day.”—Frank Sinatra Smiley

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About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
This entry was posted in A Laugh, Change, Choices, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

58 Responses to Beer Basics 101

  1. I liked the the fellow who opened his beer with his other beer–thinking outside the six-pack, there–also that one broken neck beer might need to be chucked. Great moto finish! 🙂

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  2. Karen J says:

    My favorite is the nail-gun! That’s really creative. 🙂

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  3. Arindam says:

    Really funny video Barb. 🙂 LOL

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  4. That Sinatra quote made me chuckle, Barb! Great piece. Just so long as no-one you know does it with their bare teeth. *wince*

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  5. Margie says:

    I think I liked the one with the motorcycle best. You could pull out a kids loose tooth that way too.

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  6. Barb, I didn’t need a brewski to mull over my decision about this. I nominated you for The Lovely Blogger Award. You can find the particulars on my blog.

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  7. dan says:

    In the sixties, anyone’ who did not have at least a dozen church keys in his car, was going to be a priest. The first pop tabs I remember were on little Olys.
    Makes you wonder how many people my age are still passing shattered glass.

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  8. I have never ceased to be amazed at what my husband will use to get into a beer bottle. He is not thwarted for a second. I recently bought myself a consolation six-pack when I was in a West Virginia Super 8 motel room that subsequently got shut down as a meth lab, and they weren’t twist-off. I tried to MacGyver something out of my suitcase but came up short. Then I meditated on Dave, 3,000 miles away, and popped the sucker right off on a drawer handle.

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    • Barb says:

      Wow. Could you meditate on how Dave would handle the national debt? I’m sure he could fix it and I wouldn’t have to hear about it in the debates anymore.

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  9. Al says:

    I just use my belly button. What else did you think having a beer belly meant?

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    • Barb says:

      I’m so glad I have you as a mentor and guy pal to explain these things to me. You’re a gem. Or a Pint. Or a keg. Or as they say in Oregon…you’re all beer, no foam.

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  10. pegoleg says:

    And if the guy with the saw hurts himself, he’ll sue the manufacturer for not having a “Do not try to open a beer with this saw” message prominently displayed on the machinery. And he’ll win.

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    • Barb says:

      Hey!! Why didn’t I think about that? Where’s my chain saw? Of course I’d have to stop blogging because I wouldn’t have any fingers to type with.

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  11. Rose L says:

    I do not need this as do not drink at all. One less worry!!

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  12. digipicsphotography says:

    I have a multi-function pocket knife with a bottle opener and a corkscrew, just in case. Now I just have to remember to bring it.

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  13. I admire you ingenuity and practicality. Very resourceful and smart. When other would have given up, you persevered with an awesome results. I don’t drink due to asthma so I kind of miss a lot….Hmmm?

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    • Barb says:

      I’m not sure you’re missing anything. These same techniques could be used on Coca-Cola bottles. Or that specialty-brewed root beer. Although, I’d be pretty upset if I lost half my soda to a foamy head.

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  14. El Guapo says:

    Not sure what it says about me that I’ve used about half of these methods.
    And also once wrecked a hubcap trying to get a beer open…

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  15. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Some impressive and downright scary methods for getting at the brew. But some also resulted in a loss of the golden liquid as well. Thanks for sharing, Barb.

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    • Barb says:

      I know. What’s with that. A couple of those techniques looked like they just busted the neck off. Must’ve been something vampires offered their guests.

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  16. Welcome back – I have missed you. Some of those innovative methods looked pretty scary to me. But I don’t drink beer so what would I know.

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    • Barb says:

      Thanks E.C. I only publish a post 3 times a month. I’m lazy that way…or…I’m busy figuring out how to open those slim-sealed packages of mozarella sticks. Do they sell them that way in Oz?

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      • Not that I have noticed. If they do, I would struggle. Sadly child proof lids are me proof now. I suspect much more me proof than child proof. Hiss and spit (which is my favoured phrase of the season).

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        • Barb says:

          Oh…those are easy to open with a sledge hammer. I recommend putting the bottle in a paper bag before whacking it, so you don’t have to search for the pills which have flown all over the house. It has the additional benefit of being cathartic and alleviating frustration about the price of medicine, and that you need pharmaceuticals, and the price of gasoline. (I just threw that last one in there. I like to add the complaint du jour.).

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  17. Roxie Matthews says:

    Why do you think cowboys wear them big belt buckles?

    And why do you think I carry a Swiss Army knife? Because, my twin brother wound up steel teeth.

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  18. souldipper says:

    What a riot, Barb! Can’t beat necessity for bringing out the creativity in folk! 😀

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  19. mj monaghan says:

    You have all the coolest stuff on your blog, Barb! Ah, the good ol’ days. “Kids today have it so easy!” hehehe

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  20. Loved it. My husband once opened his beer on our good dining room table, left a pretty good scratch. But it was worth it. I can’t get over the guy who opened his with his bare stomach. yeeouch!

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    • Barb says:

      Don’t you wish they would’ve shown the guy at the hospital 30 minutes later, trying to explain why his belly button was bleeding? I’m guessing they’d put him at the end of the triage line.

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    • Barb says:

      And you didn’t mouth whip your husband for carving up the dining room table? Please tell me you at least got a few “i’ll-Get-You-Later-When-I’ve-Screwed-Up” points out of it.

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  21. What a riot! There are a lot of truly creative people in the world hiding in unsuspecting people. Some of the creative strategies were a little scarey, leaving me hearing ambulance sirens in my head, but wow, what problem solvers!!

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  22. Jenny says:

    What a hoot. Loved it.

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  23. Elyse says:

    Hilarious video!

    This summer my brother opened a beer bottle with an opener embedded into his flip flop!

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    • Barb says:

      Your brother should watch where he walks. I’d think walking on bottle openers until they’re embedded in flipflops would be like walking on nails.

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  24. I’ve seen quite a few guys use the edge-of-the-table hand slap method to remove a bottle cap before, but tell me, have you ever squeezed and grunted and groaned, straining to unscrew a bottle cap, only to realize it wasn’t a screw top at all? Uh, me neither. Fun post.

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