We have a saying in long distance hiking.
If you forgot it…you don’t need it.
In other words, you make do.
The same is true for tailgate parties and Beer Basics 101. When 40 people hover around the grill, cooler, and chips and then someone discovers they’ve forgotten the church key ….
You’ll thank ol’ Barb for sharing these innovative beer opening methods. And you’ll go down in tailgate history and be talked about for years to come.
(*posted by Michelle Alleves in YouTube)
CHANGE…it just keeps coming. Thank the Lord for “twist tops”
Original Church Key
by moirabot
Soon-To-Be-Antique Church Keys
Anyone remember the cans you had to punch two triangular holes in to get the beer out?
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re gonna feel all day.”—Frank Sinatra
Before Morning Breaks 
I liked the the fellow who opened his beer with his other beer–thinking outside the six-pack, there–also that one broken neck beer might need to be chucked. Great moto finish! 🙂
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My favorite is the nail-gun! That’s really creative. 🙂
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Really funny video Barb. 🙂 LOL
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None of these people were my relatives. Let’s make that very clear.
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That Sinatra quote made me chuckle, Barb! Great piece. Just so long as no-one you know does it with their bare teeth. *wince*
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Kate, I’m now convinced there is NOTHING people won’t use as a tool to get at their beer.
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I think I liked the one with the motorcycle best. You could pull out a kids loose tooth that way too.
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That was my first thought, too. Doesn’t that make you cringe?
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Me cringe? No, not really – unless it was my tooth with the string tied around it!
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Barb, I didn’t need a brewski to mull over my decision about this. I nominated you for The Lovely Blogger Award. You can find the particulars on my blog.
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In the sixties, anyone’ who did not have at least a dozen church keys in his car, was going to be a priest. The first pop tabs I remember were on little Olys.
Makes you wonder how many people my age are still passing shattered glass.
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I have never ceased to be amazed at what my husband will use to get into a beer bottle. He is not thwarted for a second. I recently bought myself a consolation six-pack when I was in a West Virginia Super 8 motel room that subsequently got shut down as a meth lab, and they weren’t twist-off. I tried to MacGyver something out of my suitcase but came up short. Then I meditated on Dave, 3,000 miles away, and popped the sucker right off on a drawer handle.
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Wow. Could you meditate on how Dave would handle the national debt? I’m sure he could fix it and I wouldn’t have to hear about it in the debates anymore.
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I just use my belly button. What else did you think having a beer belly meant?
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I’m so glad I have you as a mentor and guy pal to explain these things to me. You’re a gem. Or a Pint. Or a keg. Or as they say in Oregon…you’re all beer, no foam.
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And if the guy with the saw hurts himself, he’ll sue the manufacturer for not having a “Do not try to open a beer with this saw” message prominently displayed on the machinery. And he’ll win.
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Hey!! Why didn’t I think about that? Where’s my chain saw? Of course I’d have to stop blogging because I wouldn’t have any fingers to type with.
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Never!
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I do not need this as do not drink at all. One less worry!!
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There’s always juice and soda in cans!
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I meant bottles!
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Bethie….might that juice in bottles be called…”margarita mix?” And didn’t I sit at one end of the table while you were at the other with some tomato concoction with a giant tree of celery out of the top? What was that?
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I have a multi-function pocket knife with a bottle opener and a corkscrew, just in case. Now I just have to remember to bring it.
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I have one of those, too. It weighs about a half-pound and I stopped carrying it unless I want a good workout and am trying to lose weight.
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Yep, that’s the one. 🙂
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I admire you ingenuity and practicality. Very resourceful and smart. When other would have given up, you persevered with an awesome results. I don’t drink due to asthma so I kind of miss a lot….Hmmm?
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I’m not sure you’re missing anything. These same techniques could be used on Coca-Cola bottles. Or that specialty-brewed root beer. Although, I’d be pretty upset if I lost half my soda to a foamy head.
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Not sure what it says about me that I’ve used about half of these methods.
And also once wrecked a hubcap trying to get a beer open…
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Somehow, I knew this wouldn’t be new info for you, Guapsterola. Now….do tell about the hubcap. Was it yours, or some poor soul who happened to be at the same tailgate party?
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Sadly, it was someone totally unrelated to our group who just happened to park near us.
Karma has since balanced the scales.
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Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Some impressive and downright scary methods for getting at the brew. But some also resulted in a loss of the golden liquid as well. Thanks for sharing, Barb.
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I know. What’s with that. A couple of those techniques looked like they just busted the neck off. Must’ve been something vampires offered their guests.
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Welcome back – I have missed you. Some of those innovative methods looked pretty scary to me. But I don’t drink beer so what would I know.
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Thanks E.C. I only publish a post 3 times a month. I’m lazy that way…or…I’m busy figuring out how to open those slim-sealed packages of mozarella sticks. Do they sell them that way in Oz?
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Not that I have noticed. If they do, I would struggle. Sadly child proof lids are me proof now. I suspect much more me proof than child proof. Hiss and spit (which is my favoured phrase of the season).
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Oh…those are easy to open with a sledge hammer. I recommend putting the bottle in a paper bag before whacking it, so you don’t have to search for the pills which have flown all over the house. It has the additional benefit of being cathartic and alleviating frustration about the price of medicine, and that you need pharmaceuticals, and the price of gasoline. (I just threw that last one in there. I like to add the complaint du jour.).
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Why do you think cowboys wear them big belt buckles?
And why do you think I carry a Swiss Army knife? Because, my twin brother wound up steel teeth.
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Roxie, you get back here and explain that steel teeth remark. And we all know cowboys wear big buckles to hold up their…big pants.
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What a riot, Barb! Can’t beat necessity for bringing out the creativity in folk! 😀
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Or the dumbness.
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You have all the coolest stuff on your blog, Barb! Ah, the good ol’ days. “Kids today have it so easy!” hehehe
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Thanks MJ. The stuff is cool, only because everything keeps changing and I’m lost most of the time on how to use the new twist-top technology.
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Loved it. My husband once opened his beer on our good dining room table, left a pretty good scratch. But it was worth it. I can’t get over the guy who opened his with his bare stomach. yeeouch!
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Don’t you wish they would’ve shown the guy at the hospital 30 minutes later, trying to explain why his belly button was bleeding? I’m guessing they’d put him at the end of the triage line.
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And you didn’t mouth whip your husband for carving up the dining room table? Please tell me you at least got a few “i’ll-Get-You-Later-When-I’ve-Screwed-Up” points out of it.
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What a riot! There are a lot of truly creative people in the world hiding in unsuspecting people. Some of the creative strategies were a little scarey, leaving me hearing ambulance sirens in my head, but wow, what problem solvers!!
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And now you know necessity isn’t the mother of invention. It’s beer.
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What a hoot. Loved it.
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HOOT. HOOt. Which makes us wonder if an owl can be used to open a bottle?
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Hilarious video!
This summer my brother opened a beer bottle with an opener embedded into his flip flop!
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Your brother should watch where he walks. I’d think walking on bottle openers until they’re embedded in flipflops would be like walking on nails.
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I’ve seen quite a few guys use the edge-of-the-table hand slap method to remove a bottle cap before, but tell me, have you ever squeezed and grunted and groaned, straining to unscrew a bottle cap, only to realize it wasn’t a screw top at all? Uh, me neither. Fun post.
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I know. I know. They should make twist tops bright red for the bottle-challenged like you and me.
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I am lol-ing!
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Are you sure you’re not on the floor from testing out these techniques and drinking the result?
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ha
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Ooops. Sorry. My bad. You didn’t say you were “rolling on the floor” but only that you were laughing. I must be the one rolling on the floor. Sorry.
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What are you sorry for – sillybilly!
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