How to Survive Your Husband’s Retirement

Okay…feel free to use the subject of this post to explain my long blog absence.

AND…Through hair-pulling trial and error, I’ve eked out a few helpful tidbits for others navigating this road.

The following tips may help you muddle through your own: “Whatcha doin’ now?” phase of life. Of course, use with discretion. Your mileage may vary.

1)    Survive the  GOD-AWFUL TO-DO LIST

Everyone will tell you that a daily list helps a retiree adrift in the sea of free time to find purpose. But those cursed advice columns don’t tell you how to negotiate whose GOTTA-DO list will be used.
My list                                                                                                                  His list

I've been working on this list for about 25 years

I’ve been working on this list for about 25 years

He's been working on this list for about 30 years

He’s been working on this list for about 30 years

Solution: Always start your fix-it request with a question AND a solution you can live with.

Poor: Would you prefer to fix the kitchen table or eat over the sink for the rest or your retirement?

Better: Honey, I need to use the magazines from 1977 that are propping up the kitchen table. Would you fix the leg now?

Best: Could you fix the kitchen table leg by next week? Oh…never mind, I’ll just go to the furniture store and get a new one.

2)    Retirement and SELECTIVE HEARING

You’ve probably been dealing with this for years. Bellowed requests must be repeated several times.


But with retirement, you’re unsure if your retiree is ignoring you, or just pushing your buttons.

Solution: Tired of repeating yourself?  Use the gibberish method.

First: Speak in gibberish.

Me-TrashNow they’ll listen…just to make sure they’re not going deaf.

Now that you have his attention…deliver your message.



Yes, I know your gut is demanding that you to clean out the trappings of your early life, but BEWARE:  Your retiree might be your best shopper.

Me-Garage sale_edited-1Mr. Dallas Cowboy Fan: “Hey! I don’t want to sell that stuff.”

ME: What are you going to do with it? You haven’t used any of this in years.

Mr. Dallas Cowboy Fan: “Just put it in a box. I might want it someday.”

ME: Okay. I’ll put it away in a box.  (Which happens to be going to a local charity.)

And Two Years Later…..

Mr. Dallas Cowboy Fan (watching TV): “Hey, didn’t I have a beer stein…or did we sell it in that garage sale?”

Use Tip # 2.


And life continues to change…..

About Barb

I escaped from a hardscrabble farm in Oklahoma. I'm not sure why people think I have an accent. I miss the sunshine, but not the fried foods.
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