My family says it takes a good 20 minutes for me to leave:
- A meeting
- Church
- Grocery Store
- An empty parking lot
Hey!!! Can I help it, I’m too lazy to call someone for a luncheon or after-work chat? When I finally run into them in the toilet paper aisle of Box-Mart, I’m going to catch up on everything.
So here are some tips for ending a conversation with me or someone like me who’s flapping their jaws.
How To Escape a Boring Conversation
STRATEGY 1: Make a positive ending comment. This is the UNIVERSAL signal for wrapping up.
GOOD Example:
- “I’m glad we talked.”
- “You’ve given me some things to think about.”
- “I enjoyed our conversation.”
BAD Example:
- “Barb…isn’t that your husband…leaving the parking lot without you?”
STRATEGY 2: Review and Plan. Again, this is another signal indicating you’ve heard the person and the conversation has come to a close.
- GOOD Example: “Thanks for letting me know the details. (The review of the conversation). “I’ll get back to you and let you know.” (The plan.)
- The Good Grief Example: “Barb! My eyes are rolling in the sockets with all these details. (The review). Just e-mail me (so I can delete it as soon as I get it.) (The Plan)
STRATEGY 3: The Excuse AND Reason.
You’re allegedly ending the conversation NOT because you want to run away, pulling your ears and screaming, but because you have something else that MUST be done.
The excuse and reason MUST be used together…you’ll see why in this bad example.
- Poor Example: “Hi. Well, gotta go.” This response doesn’t work even though every teenager has tried to make to make it work. (And adding a wave, while walking away doesn’t make it any better.)
- Better Example: “Sorry, Barb. Gotta go. I’m late for a meeting.”
HINT: If you’re using the Excuse Strategy, at least make your reasons believable.
- “I’ve got to wash the chickens.”
- “Clean out the fridge before the milk expires.” or
- “I’m late for a meeting that we didn’t invite you to.”
- “Clean out the fridge before the milk expires.” or
Are not acceptable excuses. Put on your thinking cap or another mouth filter.
BONUS TIP:
Of course, the best time to escape is when there’s a lull in the conversation, but if you’re visiting with someone like me who can talk as I breathe both in and out, you’ll have to interrupt. I know you hate to do it. But believe me, it’s quite helpful. I appreciate it every time I’m interrupted with:
Hurry, honey. I’ll slow down at the corner.
“Sorry, Barb. I’ve got to let you go. Your husband is driving out of the parking lot.”
Before Morning Breaks 
Absolutely hilarious Barb! It’s usually my husband who is the talker, so I start by giving him a gentle squeeze on the arm. 10 minutes later, it is more of a gorilla death grip, ha ha! By the way, people wash chickens… and that’s a viable excuse to use?! My God, all this time I could have been using that one! FYI- I’m literally clueless when it comes to farm animals. Does this chicken-washing process just involve water, or do people use soap? As you can tell, I am really intrigued by this. 😉
LikeLike
OOOOOhhhh, the ol’ squeeze trick. Yeah, when I see the squeeze coming, I move out of arm’s reach, until I figured out it was my husband’s way of herding me toward the door.
LikeLike
ah i have learned some new skills
LikeLike
I will remember these tips if my about-face beeline to aisle 14 does not work and I cannot escape the jaw flapper.
LikeLike
No, don’t head to aisle 14, keep going, right out of the store, or else I’ll find you again and pin you down with conversation in the next aisle.
LikeLike
This is exactly why I always carry mace with me.
LikeLike
Uh…Al? Uh…do you carry Mace to spray someone who’s bothering you with talking, or is to spray your wife and make her quit talking?
LikeLike
Actually, I was kidding about the mace. I have a built in defense system. I’m hearing impaired. I have to ask people to repeat themselves so often that they cross the street when they see me coming. Who knew an affliction could come in handy?
LikeLike
I love this what a great blog you have. I am a follower now. cheers Judy 🙂
judysp.wordpress.com
LikeLike
Thank you, Judy.
LikeLike
😀 Now picturing you hurtling after the car….thanks for the laugh this afternoon…
LikeLike
It’s more like a “jump and a getalong” rather than a hurtle.
LikeLike
I’ve memorised these tips, Barb. They may come in handy one day, thanks for the help!
LikeLike
Hey Tom!! It’s good to see you.
“Come in handy ONE DAY?” You’d better give me your phone number so I can call and you can practice or else I’m afraid you’ll forget this handy advice when you really really need it. How’s you calling plan?
LikeLike
You crack me up! I hope I run into you in the toilet paper aisle sometime soon! Margie
LikeLike
The shoppers in that aisle seem more forgiving, but those chips-and-beer shoppers. Whew! I’ve learned some new cuss words in that aisle.
LikeLike
I’m sending this to everyone in my husband’s family. Because they NEVER know when to shut up. They continue talking when you leave the room. I used to be polite but gave up. They don’t realize I am being rude, so I don’t think I will roast in hell for doing it.
LikeLike
You’ve gotta love folks who don’t take offense no matter what you do. Let’s experiment and step it up a notch. Start wearing noise-muffling headphones when you visit and tell us if they said you’d roast in hell for it.
LikeLike
No, no, no. You don’t gotta love them. You gotta refrain from smacking them. That’s really hard.
LikeLike
Such useful tips, Barb.
Would love to stay and comment, but I think the dryer just stopped. hehehe
LikeLike
Now that’s a real excuse. I’ll cut off anyone so I don’t have to iron clothes. This is an pre-accepted excuse like : Island Travelers:” Gotta Pick Up my Kid”, or Digispictography’s “Gotta Get Some Sleep, I Work Nights.”
But you’ve got to worry that they’ll call back in 10 minutes when they think you’ve finished folding.
LikeLike
I would like to print this on a t-shirt and give it to several people I know to wear in public.
LikeLike
Print which? “How to Stop A Jaw” “or “I Stopped Listening 10 Minutes Ago”?
LikeLike
A title of “How To Get Out Of This Conversation”, followed by all the good methods you list.
To be worn by the Jaw Flapper.
LikeLike
Hello, I must be leaving…
LikeLike
As always, it was great almost getting to see you.
LikeLike
In the cell phone lot at the airport recently, fully expecting the call was from the person telling me they had landed, a relentless talker was on the other end. “Oh no”, I actually said, “I can’t talk now.” Then I had to recover explaining, “I’m at the airport picking up x and I thought it was them! Gotta go. Can we pleeeease talk later? I’m waiting for THEIR call.” “Yes…but…you see…” Click.
LikeLike
Good for you. Do you ever look at the incoming number and then decide not to answer it because you just don’t have time to get into a looooong conversation. Whoever invented voice mail is my friend. Hey!!!! Maybe that’s why I get put on voice mail so much???
LikeLike
You are too funny!
I just say I have to get some sleep to work tonite. Works well for me, since I do work at nite. 🙂
LikeLike
I work at night too. Yeeeeeeah. Yeeeeah, (scratching chin and thinking) that could work for me. I usually write until about 2am. (but no one considers that work),
LikeLike
That’s because they are sleeping and don’t see you working. Both of my sons never understood why I couldn’t stay awake all day after working all night. They slept while I worked. It wasn’t until they both got jobs requiring them to work odd, late hours that they finally understood.
LikeLike
Thanks Barb. It is kind of hard to end a conversation particularly the if the other party doesn’t seem want to stop. Great tips indeed. One of my excuses? I sometimes say, “Oh, gotta go, I still have to pick up my son !” Works everytime.
LikeLike
I forgot that one. It absolutely works. No one wants to think they were responsible for stranding a child.
LikeLike
I had an acquaintance once who was a strenuous talker and so oblivious to input that I’d try the reason gambit and make it as silly as possible, because bless her heart, she never noticed. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I have to polish the dog.” Or, “I’m on fire.” Or, “let’s do this again when you’re not so annoying.” Ha ha! she’d say, and then motor right on. It was kind of fun, actually.
LikeLike
I agree, this would be come a fun challenge. Are you still friends?
LikeLike
I guess it’s time to end the conversation when you’re backed against the wall and have fallen asleep.
LikeLike
Not necessarily. You can always poke them back awake.
LikeLike
This is so funny – and so true, but sorry, “Gotta go before the ice cream melts!” 🙂
LikeLike
I bow to an expert, Dor.
LikeLike
I usually say “Hey! I think I just saw your son/daughter getting a tattoo by a biker in the bar on second street.”
LikeLike
That only works if the person is upset about using the tat artist on second street. Everyone knows First street by the river has the best ink experts.
LikeLike
My husband and I are amateur radio operators, and go to a lot of meetings. No matter how long the meetings may run, it is absolutely imperative for a bunch of us to hold an after-the-meeting meeting in the parking lot afterwards. (Sometimes, they even last longer than the actual meetings do!) Ditto when we’re visiting with friends. Whether it’s at our house or theirs, there always has to be a lengthy obligatory good-bye chat while standing in the living room, preparing to depart. At times, it spills out onto the porch and/or the driveway. So, I know just what you mean. Too funny.
LikeLike
You’re my kinda woman. Following people out on the porch and to their cars is one of my favorite gabbing techniques. And outside, I can keep an eye out for my husband driving out of the parking lot.
LikeLike
Geeze, and I have trouble getting to talk to you at all. How about I set up coffee date for us? I love to talk with you!
LikeLike
Oh, yes. Let’s meet at the grocery store where we can block the aisles and let people walk around us. We’ll learn some new cuss words that way. (Yes, Roxie. Let’s talk).
LikeLike
These are great tips! Minnesotans take forever to say goodbye and I think some of the bad examples might be appropriate under certain conditions. Is nodding off acceptable?
LikeLike
Absolutely. But in Minnesota, don’t you just try to move the conversation outside so the talker will either freeze or the mosquitoes will carry him/her away?
LikeLike
That’s how we do it in my part of Canada, and for those exact reasons!
LikeLike
Reminds me of my former in-laws! We would be at a family gathering for 4 or 5 hours. As soon as we said we were leaving, they started saying all the things they wanted to tell us but didn’t in the previous hours. I always told my ex to announce that we were leaving as soon as we got there. He didn’t see any humor in that (and perhaps that’s why he’s my ex!) Also, I have to wash my hair was always a good excuse when I was in high school. It wasn’t very subtle but kids aren’t.
LikeLike
Your ex may not have thought it was funny, but I think it’s hysterical.
LikeLike
I’ve got to hide your comment, Kate, before my husband finds it. He’ll start calling people and tell them we’re leaving, even before we arrive.
LikeLike
Hilarious! I so appreciate the advice because I am not a talker and have a hard time drawing those lines. I’ve learned to stop responding. That works with some people. I have one friend who would just keep going, so a needed bathroom trip or something like comes in handy when I’m ready for a change. 😀
LikeLike
Yes, the non-responding thing works with sensitive people, but many people think of it as: “Wheee! More talking space for me.”
LikeLike