I was shopping for a new skull the other day because the traffic grid of my sinuses has jammed. I guess that’s to be expected. After so many years, most things become full: cupboards, RAM, headspace. The simplest solution was to make a change.
I asked for a model without those confounded paranasal passages, but the helpful salesman told me it was considered an app to the skull. Turns out sinus cavities are simply sacks of air between bone and flesh like packaging pillows. The sacs begin at birth and continue to excavate bone for the rest of our lives. I suppose this means by the time we’re 100, we’ll have the airbags of a Volvo under our eyes.
It seems without these pockets of void, our solidly-weighted faces would bend our necks into a U and our heads bob like lilies when we walked. Oh wait! I already do that.
My problem is that my alleyways of airways swell and mucus-up like big sponges when exposed to allergens. 37 million people have the same malady, so you’d think there’d be more choice in skulls. There are alternatives:
Barb’s Snoot Rooter: Washing your nose holes twice a day helps hair move particles like they were a lightweight blonde in a mosh pit. You could use a neti pot or the cupped hands you were created with. Better yet…stick your head in the ocean and breath then snort it out.
I’ve kept on skull shopping at: Wal-Mart (“Live Better”) and J.C. Penney (“It’s all Inside.”) Now I’m intrigued by Ball Corporation’s rocket designs. (“The Leader in Small Space and Rocket Systems”).
Things change. Maybe someday they’ll even make sinuses.
Then…Good bye Neti pot.